Where Do We Go From Here?
by tattooedgeek85
Summary: Jordan just lost the baby, TC holds an engagement ring desperately waiting for an answer. Drew and Rick are on their way to get married as Ragosa and Krysta try to figure out what to do with their relationship. The hospital is never going to be the same. This is my take on season 3 of The Night Shift
1. Chapter 1: All The Pieces

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this fan fiction. All of the characters are property of Jeff Judah and Gabe Sachs ( the creators of The Night Shift)_

 **Author's Note: This is my first attempt at a fanfiction. After watching the season 2 finale I couldn't wait to find out what happened to all the characters at San Antonio Memorial Hospital. Please leave constructive criticism and let me know what you think! This fanfiction will explore all of the current relationships at SAMH in their own chapters as well as the characters together the next chapter will focus on Drew and Rick! Sorry this is kinda short!**

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TC sat on the edge of Jordan's bed. His eyes moved from her monitor, to her eyes, to her monitor, to her lips. He watched the monitor with such intent it was almost as if every breath she took gave him permission to have one of his own. She breathed, he breathed. The cycle seemed to continue for hours. Nurses, doctors, and friends they all came into Jordan's room to give TC their condolences on their loss and to check on her stats. TC however knew what the stats meant, she was stable, and as for the baby he didn't care. Sure TC wanted to be a father, he loved his unborn child as much as he has ever loved anyone, and he loved Jordan more than that.

TC wondered how a tiny diamond engagement ring could weigh so much in his pocket. The ring felt like it weighed a ton. He pulled the tiny black velvet box out of his pocket. He had picked it up on his way home from Afghanistan. He was intent on not spending another day without Jordan as his wife and planned on proposing as soon as he got to the hospital. He didn't think he'd get here and find her in critical condition. He opened the box, tears welling up in his eyes as he thought about what his life would be like without her. War was nothing compared to the thought of losing her. Finally TC, the Army Ranger and ER doctor couldn't stop it from happening, he cried.

"T…" Jordan said faintly, her voice sounding weak and frail.

"Shh, baby don't talk," TC reprimanded. She was still very sick and she didn't need the stress on her, it would be enough finding out about the loss of the baby.

"T… what is that?" She asked, looking at the ring box in his now trembling hands. He quickly stood up and placed the ring box out of sight. Now was not the time to ask her to be his.

"It's nothing sweetie, just get some rest."

Jordan lay there for a moment just looking at TC. She could see the anguish on his face. She placed her hand on stomach and her heart dropped into her stomach. Something was wrong; she couldn't feel the baby moving anymore. She always moved when TC was around.

Tears gathered in the corners of Jordan's eyes. She frantically felt her stomach and started crying.

"T, the baby, I don't feel her moving. T what's going on?!" Jordan was beyond panicked right now. She knew TC couldn't handle losing this baby, this baby was the push he needed to get better, and losing the baby would wreck him.

"Jordan," TC said, a bit of his Irish accent sneaking out.

"Don't Jordan me! What is wrong with our daughter?!"

"Daughter?" TC said broken hearted. He had heard the baby's heartbeat but they hadn't found out the sex yet.

TC sat there broken. Jordan grabbed her chart off the table and started reading her diagnosis out loud.

"Stroke…pre-eclampsia…" Jordan wept to herself; the feeling that this was her fault wouldn't escape her thoughts.

"What did I do wrong? Why did this happen to us? We were in such a good place…. we were going to be a family," tears rolled softly down Jordan's cheeks as TC cupped her face with his hand.

"You did nothing wrong," TC spoke sternly through the tears, "there is nothing we could have changed, you didn't do this us, you did nothing wrong. Nothing wrong."

Jordan sobbed as TC let go of her face. He stood up and Jordan cried harder.

"This is it," she thought, " he's leaving me. I ruined this, I broke us. "

TC grabbed the ring box off the table and kneeled next to the bed. He held Jordan's hand tightly and kissed her knuckles.

"Jordan Elisabeth Alexander. You did nothing wrong, we are still in a good…" his voice trailed off for a second as he searching for the words to comfort her, "…hell a great place. We can still be a family. All you have to do is say yes," TC said eyes wide with hope.

"T… when did you get this?" Jordan asked looking at the modest but beautiful engagement ring placed ever so slightly in the velvet box.

"Honestly, I bought it five years ago, before I left. I planned on proposing when I returned home to you in one piece."

"But you didn't propose when you got home…Why?"

"Because I wasn't in one piece. It wouldn't have been fair to you for me to place the burden of PTSD on you. When I finally started to rebuild you were with Scott and you looked happy. I didn't want to ruin that for you, I always wanted you to be happy. "

"And you still kept it? Even after I was with Scott?"

"I still had hope. I still have hope. Now Jordan Elisabeth Alexander will you do me the honor of making me honest man and say yes already before I have a heart attack?" TC asked nervously.

Jordan examined the ring; she looked into the eyes of the man she loved. She never noticed how old he looked. It wasn't bad; he was as handsome as he had ever been. His eyes showed the most, they looked sad. He had seen so much loss in his life, he was finally getting better but how could she say yes when she was breaking inside.

She looked deeply into his brown eyes. She had never noticed how the corners of his eyes turned down, or the green flecks that appeared sporadically throughout them. She never noticed the scar above his left eye, although she remembered how he got it. She knew she had loved this man since her 1st year residency. She loved him deeply but she had never felt so distant from him.

She gripped her stomach and started to cry.


	2. Chapter 2: Forever and Everything Else

2\. Forever and Everything Else

 **Author's Note: So I really couldn't wait to get into Rick and Drew. They have such an untold backstory that I really can't wait to explore. This explores what happened prior to Rick showing up at the hospital wanting to get married. I hope you enjoy it and please leave some constructive criticism! I am thinking of adding more to Chapter 1 to explore what happened as TC and Topher were in Afghanistan and on their way back. I can do it in one of two way, updating the chapter or making it a flashback in chapter 4, let me know what you think!**

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Rick thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He had never been so fearful and so positive of anything in his life. He knew he wanted the house, the dog, and the white picket fence. He wanted everything. He desperately wanted forever, and he wanted it with Drew.

Just hours earlier Rick felt like his world would end. As he sat in the living room of the small two-bedroom house he shared with Drew, he felt his pulse stop. He lost all feeling in his hands and dropped his beer on the floor, covering the grey suede couch and hardwood floors in the amber liquid he had been enjoying moments prior. His breath caught in his throat as he saw the love of his life, his forever, on television. Drew was only in the background and Rick wasn't even positive based on the appearance, but it was Drew. Rick knew with every fibre of his being that his happily ever after was out there. Just hours earlier they had fought about the job in South Carolina and Rick wasn't positive he was going to stay in San Antonio. Seeing Drew out there though changed his world. Drew was out there, on the scene where the sniper attacks were happening, and suddenly South Carolina didn't matter. Rick desperately dialed the number he had memorized.

"Rick?" the voice on the end of the line cooed, "Is everything okay? Is it your leg?"

"Drew…" was all the words he could muster.

"What about Drew?" Krysta asked puzzled as to why Rick would call her instead of Drew.

Normally Rick only called Krysta if it was a medical problem. He hated asking Drew his questions and he loathed having Drew take care of him. Him and Krysta had a bonded and he had become quite fond of the coffee haired doctor that helped him out. But right now he needed to find out about Drew.

"Is he okay?"

"We haven't heard any reports of shots fired or paramedics injured yet. Why, what's up?"

"I saw him…on TV. Krysta I…," his voice cracked as he fought back the tears he realized were coming.

"Just keep calm, I'll keep you updated…" Krysta said soothingly.

"And Rick," she added, "Everything will be fine, I promise."

"Thanks." Rick said hitting the end button before sliding into the couch to cry and catch the breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

Rick sat there in complete silence and despair waiting for his phone to ring. He had never wanted so badly to tell Drew that he loved him. He had never wished so hard for his phone to ring. So he stared. He stared so intently on his phone wishing for it to ring that when it did he thought that he had made it happen purely based on thoughts. He didn't even bother to pay attention to the caller ID as he eagerly answered the phone.

"Drew?"

"I'm looking for a Mr. Richard Lincoln, is he available? This is Lieutenant Lowell Grant with San Antonio SWAT."

"This is," Rick said pulling himself together, "I apologize for how I answered, a loved one of mine is out there with the snipers. I am deeply sorry for being on edge."

"Don't worry about it Richard." Lt. Grant responded. Lt. Grant knew that Rick was gay and it didn't faze him. He had saw the interview after Drew took out the shooter at the promotion ceremony. The only thing that he cared about was getting Rick to take the job training his people. He could use someone with his experience on the force.

"Rick," he interrupted, he always felt awkward when people called him Richard. Richard was his dad.

"Rick, I'm calling to offer you a job. I know you were offered a job training Rangers, but I have an opening that will keep you here in San Antonio with Drew."

Rick was taken aback by the frankness in which Lt. Grant said Drew's name. It was almost as if Lt. Grant knew that Drew was more than just a friend. Before he realized it, Rick had stopped talking and moments had passed while he got tangled in a web inside his own head. The idea of staying here in San Antonio, staying here with Drew…suddenly he wanted it all, and South Carolina was a distant memory.

Rick snapped back to the present when he finally heard Lt. Grant speak.

"I apologize Rick, I saw the interview with you and your boyfriend Drew, you don't have to hide from us son. We want you because you are the best. It takes a lot to pass in the top 1%; it takes even more to do it with half of your leg missing. We need a man of your skill, your drive, and your talent here. We need someone who can train these men, so men like Drew don't get caught in the middle of shit – pardon my language son- in the middle of a dangerous situation such as this. "

Rick was at a loss for words. Finally the words he was looking for found him.

"When would I start?" Rick knew that if he had any hopes of forever happening sooner rather than later he would need some time.

"When would you like to start?"

"Give me a week," and with that the call ended and Rick knew what he had to do. He had to guarantee forever, now.

Rick moved as fast as his one and a half legs could take him. He moved around the house with such urgency as he packed two suitcases, one for Drew and one for himself. He packed their swim trunks, flip-flops, button-down shirts, suit jackets, jeans, army fatigues. He searched everywhere for the last article he needed.

"Where is it," Rick asked himself. He couldn't for the life of him find the purple paisley tie he had bought Drew for their anniversary. Drew would never admit he loved the color purple, but Rick knew him better than anyone.

He finally found the tie folded neatly in the sock drawer. As Rick picked up the tie he felt the familiar texture of velvet against the back of his hand. He pulled the drawer out farther and he saw it. The little black velvet box he knew contained a ring.

"Ass," he murmured as he left the ring there. He thought for a moment and placed the tie precisely back in the spot he found it. He would not let Drew one up him. He was driving to San Antonio Memorial Hospital and he was going to ask the man who he knew with every fibre of his being was he soul mate, to be his, forever. He was not going to let Drew propose to him that was for damned sure. Rick had messed this up once, he wanted Drew to know that he loved him more than anything and he wanted forever and everything else that came with.

In one trip Rick lobbed the bags in the back of their pick-up truck with the efficiency of a baggage handler at San Antonio International Airport. He jumped in the truck and checked his e-mail for the confirmation from the hotel he needed.

"Perfect."

Rick started the truck and she purred like a kitten. He had TC to thank for that according to Drew. TC may be a pretentious ass but he did fix the only thing he loved as much as Drew. The pick-up truck he called Dolly.

Rick thumbed through his phone, looking for the perfect song to sum up his feelings right now. He wasn't much for music or for singing but right now he would have given the performance of his life on top of San Antonio Memorial Hospital. Finally he settled on the perfect song to sing his heart out to or to at least calm his nerves and reassure him this was the right thing. Rick had never been so damned nervous in his life.

The familiar twang of Randy Travis played throughout the cab of his truck. The smile Rick had been missing since he saw Drew on the news crept over his face. With quick fingers he turned the song up as loud as poor Dolly's speakers could hand before they cracked and whined, begging him to return them to a reasonable decibel. He ignored the pleas of his worn out speakers and rolled down the windows. Rick drove as fast as the law allowed and basked in the refreshment that was the cool Texas morning air.

 _"You may think that I'm talkin' foolish / You've heard I'm wild and I'm free/ You may wonder how I can promise you / This love, that I feel for you, always will be / You're not just time that I'm killin'/ I'm no longer one of those guys/ As sure as I live this love that I give/ Is gonna be your until the day that I die – oh, baby"_

Rick tapped his fingers on the steering wheel humming along until finally his favorite and the most important part of the song came on. Once this happened it was all over, Rick would go hoarse but he couldn't contain himself. Rick sang the song alongside Randy Travis like he was at the Grand Ole' Opry.

"I'm gonna love you forever, forever and ever, amen," Rick harmonized with Randy, though slightly off key.

He brushed his hands through his short chestnut hair and thought to himself, that he planned on doing just that to Drew, he was going to love him forever. The song ended and Rick turned the radio down. He didn't want Drew to know that his strong, Army Ranger man had gone soft. As he pulled into the hospital parking lot, his breath hitched in his throat. He had never been so happy to see Drew in his entire life.

Rick barely put the car in park before unbuckling his seatbelt and jumping out of the cab. He ran to Drew, hugged him, kissed him, and then finally slapped his chest.

"Ow, seriously Rick? What was that all about," Drew asked confused.

It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see Rick. He loved Rick more than anything. While hiding behind the ambulance tonight with Gwen, he knew how close he had come to being the next target. He felt like an idiot for being so selfish. He knew that back home, he had a wedding band burning a hole in a sock drawer under his favorite tie. After the close call tonight, he wasn't waiting for the moment to be perfect, he didn't need perfect, he needed Rick. To Drew, Rick was perfect, and he wanted nothing more than to make this incredibly handsome amputee soldier his husband. He had lost Rick once and he'd be damned if he lost him again.

Rick looked at Drew breathless, apparently he needed to remind himself to breathe when it came to Drew. He was so angry with Drew for putting himself in harms way. He could feel the blood pulsating in his ears.

"I saw you on television tonight! How could you put yourself in harms way like that Drew? Do you know what could have happened if they wouldn't have gotten the guy when they did? I'd be planning your funeral…" Rick got everything off of his chest in one breath, and then he realized what he said and got instantly angry with himself. Rick really wanted to say that he'd be planning his funeral instead of their wedding but he caught himself in time.

He didn't mean to come off as callused as he did but he was pissed. He had every right to be, he was planning on forever and after tonight he may have only had to yesterday.

"I wanted to tell you person that I took the job," Rick said with cold eyes. The normal bright blue eyes of his suddenly turned a steely grey. He hoped he was pulling this off.

"So you're moving," Drew said, the hurt evident in his voice.

"I didn't take that job. I was offered a position here, training agents for the San Antonio SWAT team. I'm not going anywhere." Rick retorted with an undeniable zest in his voice usually reserved for when he bested Drew at anything.

"You shouldn't have turned down that job," Drew scolded, furrowing his brow to show his partner the dislike he had at the decision, "You wanted to get back into the Rangers and you turn down the job to train SWAT members here? Why?"

Just this morning Rick had looked so determined to move to South Carolina and leave all of this behind. It broke Drew's heart if he had to admit it, but that wasn't going to stop him, and he was going to propose anyway, maybe they could make it work. He had looked for hospital jobs on his lunch break but the idea of leaving his friends behind wounded his soul. Topher was going through a tough time with Janet, and Krysta had just ended things with Joey. And then there was TC and Jordan; they were going to need him more than anything. Specially Jordan, he had become particularly fond of her over the past few years.

Rick interrupted Drew's thoughts. "That job in South Carolina doesn't matter. You matter. I want forever, I want a nice little house with shorter ceilings, a dog, a white picket fence…I want forever and everything else."

Drew stepped forward, wrapping his muscular arms around the love of his life. He held him tightly, never wanting to let go. He loved how well they fit together, how when they hugged he could feel Rick's heartbeat against his chest just past his chiseled pecs. Right now he could tell Rick's heart was racing, mirroring the rhythm of his own. Tonight had shown Drew how much he needed Rick; He decided he'd wait until they were home to propose. Perhaps he'd make them a nice dinner and surprise him afterwards. Right now though, in this moment, Drew needed to kiss his boyfriend.

Rick dropped his hands to Drew's molded waist and almost simultaneously Drew reach up and cupped Rick's face with his hands. He kissed Rick with urgency and Rick reciprocated by pulling Drew closer. Rick wrapped his arms around Drew's back, holding him in such a way as to never let him go. It wasn't until they both required air and the necessity with which Drew needed to feel Rick's lips against his subsided that they separated. Rick grabbed both of Drew's hands into his; pulling them to lips so that he could kiss the scarred knuckles of this man's hands.

"Let's get married," Rick whispered, worried that perhaps he had read too much into the ring and Drew wasn't prepared quite yet.

"What?" Drew retorted surprised.

In their relationship Rick always seemed to make the first move. Rick seemed to know that Drew was gay before Drew did. At boot camp it was Rick who asked Drew to go for a run with him every morning before the rest of the troops got up. It was Rick who first took the plunge and kissed Drew softly during one of their talks on the cliff overlooking the valley after their morning runs. It was Rick who initiated every kiss at boot camp after that eventually suggesting they become a couple. It was Drew who said I love you first though. And now, Richard Lincoln was still one-upping him. He shouldn't have been so surprised though, Drew knew from the moment that he laid eyes on Rick that this man was going to be his husband.

"Let's go to Santa Fe and lets get married. I've booked the hotel and our bags are packed, all you have to do is say yes."

"Lets stop at home first," Drew responded with a twinkle in his eye, "I need to grab my favorite tie."

Rick tossed Drew the keys to Dolly. "You lead the way."

"You were pretty positive I was going to say yes," Drew teased.

"It was more of a hunch," Rick smiled.

"Well I guess I'm becoming a bit to predictable," Drew retorted with his lopsided grin Rick had grown to love so much.

"Welcome to married life," Rick kissed Drew one more time as Dolly purred to life as they drove off in the cool Texas air on their way to their forever.

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 _Songs Mentioned in this Chapter:_

"Forever and Ever, Amen" by Randy Travis

* **I do not own the rights to any of these songs***

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 _Stay tuned for the next chapter. I'm going to look into what happens when Ragosa finds Krysta outside after leaving Joey. Chapter 4 will return back to the hospital._


	3. Chapter 3: Breakfast and a Dance

3\. Breakfast and a Dance

 **Author's Note: Sorry this one took so long to take off. I'm still not 100% sure I like the idea of them. Let me know if you guys want to see more of Krysta and Ragosa and I'll keep writing them. If not then this will probably be the last time I write just about them. I probably won't get the next chapter(s) up for a few days, so keep reading and please give me constructive criticism. If there is anything you like, or don't like or want to see differently please tell me!**

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Krysta kissed Joey goodbye. This kiss didn't feel like the rest, it felt like an ending. They didn't say it was for the last time, but they both knew that it was. How could he expect her to wait for him? A month or two, sure, but three years, he had lost his damn mind. Krysta however couldn't escape the fact that she already missed him. She missed his thick mess of coal colored hair and the way he was so composed about everything. She wondered if he'd even miss her or think about her while he was in Cambodia or Nigeria or where ever the hell it was he said he was going. Krysta decided that she was livid at him, but livid sure felt a lot like heartbroken.

She needed to get Joey out of her head. She knew that the only way that would happen is if she talked to Jordan. She had wanted to check in on Jordan all day but her patients and Joey had kept her away. She decided to walk to the ICU just to see how she was doing and offer her condolences, and a shoulder to cry on if needed.

As she exited the elevator she could see clearly that this wasn't the right time. TC and Jordan were fast asleep, holding onto each other like they would shatter if either let go in the small hospital bed. TC's hand was still cupping her face and she had buried her head in the crook of his neck. Krysta cursed at whatever God she believed in.

"You know, it's really fucked how much you've put them through, whoever you are. Can't you just let them be happy?" She said under her breath as she backed up into the elevator.

"This couldn't of happened to better people, it's sad really."

Krysta turned around abruptly to see Ragosa standing behind her.

"Holy shit, when did you get in? I thought I was alone," Krysta sniped.

"I got on the elevator at about…" Ragosa thought for a second before finishing his sentence in his best Krysta impersonation, "It's really fucked."

Krysta rolled her eyes hard enough she was sure one of them was going to vacate her skull. She folded her arms and turned away from Michael. She watched as the elevator lights lit up indicating which floor they were on but by the time they reached the 2nd floor she was seething.

"I do not sound like that!" She shrieked.

"I'm sorry Krysta, I shouldn't pick on you. Everyone here has had a rough night with Jordan and the snipers…. it has just been a long night. How about I make it up to you? What would you say to pancakes? My treat."

Was Ragosa asking her out or trying to be nice? Her stomach grumbled and made the decision for her.

"Apparently you haven't eaten much," Ragosa voiced looking down at her stomach where he was sure a pit bull lived based on the growl that just escaped, " I haven't eaten much either and I'm starving, so lets go."

Ragosa couldn't help but notice how nice Krysta always looked, even in scrubs, she always looked pretty and fresh faced. Being a doctor suited her nicely.

"Sure," she answered nonchalantly. She brushed a hair off of her face and reached for her phone.

"Great, I just have to change and grab some stuff out of my locker. I'll see you in a second."

Krysta stood outside the locker room dumbfounded. She could run the opposite way and not go for food and then this wouldn't have to happen at all. She thought about leaving more than a few times, but her feet somehow stopped listening to her brain and she stood in place, checking her e-mail and reading her old messages from Joey.

"He's an ass… just an FYI," Ragosa said coming out of the locker room. Krysta couldn't help but notice how quickly he had changed out of his scrubs and into something a little more appropriate for breakfast.

"Are you reading over my shoulder? What the hell Ragosa how about some privacy?"

"Actually, nurse Ramos said you left Joey, I just deduced that you were looking at some memory of him on your phone."

"Oh, sorry. I'm just on edge, I shouldn't have snapped," she said as she walked out of the doors to San Antonio Memorial Hospital with Ragosa.

She noticed Drew and Rick kissing in their truck with the windows up.

"Get a room!" She yelled with a giggle, knowing they probably didn't hear her. She'd tease Drew later about his impromptu make-out session in the parking lot. The idea of teasing the both of them made a smile creep across her face.

"You know, I never would have thought Drew was gay. Having met Rick though…I can't picture Drew with anyone else," Ragosa chimed in.

"They are pretty great together."

"So where are you parked Krysta? I'm the black Jeep over here, you can follow me."

"Actually, I walk to work. I just live a few blocks that way," Krysta pointed down the street that led away from town.

"Then I'll drive you," Ragosa said with a childlike smile that Krysta hadn't seen before.

"Great," she responded sliding in the passenger seat.

Ragosa slithered into the driver's seat beside her and started the car. The SUV came to life along with the radio. Ragosa reached out to turn the radio down which happened to be playing "Skinny Love" by Bon Iver.

"Don't," Krysta said leaning her head against the seat, closing her eyes.

Ragosa returned his hand to the steering wheel and looked at her. She looked peaceful, and beautiful. He had never noticed how slight her ears were, or that she had chocolate lowlights in her hair.

"Shit," Ragosa muttered under his breath. He couldn't possibly like this girl, he scolded himself in silence knowing that he did like her. If he was being honest, her happiness seemed dependent on his. If she had a bad day, so did he. Shit, Ragosa was in love with this girl. She was 8 years his junior and he was seriously screwed and now he wished he hadn't asked her breakfast.

Krysta's eyes fluttered to life. "What?"

"I just need to run through the ATM, that's all," he responded hastily.

Ragosa stopped by the ATM, even though he had plenty of cash for breakfast in his wallet. He pulled out a $20.00 and continued on his way down the desolate city street. For a Saturday he would have expected more cars out, but with the sniper situation he wasn't surprised.

Krysta and Ragosa drove in complete silence apart from the Bon Iver in the background. Krysta would have never picked him to be one to listen to Bon Iver. The painfully beautiful melody was haunting and upbeat. The album was a mix of contradictions that seemed far to abstract for Ragosa. She had always pictured him as more of a classic rock kind of guy.

Moments later they pulled into a quaint little diner. This wasn't the normal place everyone else went. After work they all usually when to Paula's, the small diner near the hospital that was covered in a layer of baubles and knick-knacks. Why had he purposefully driven her 10 minutes away from Paula's?

"We're here," Ragosa chimed and he turned off the Jeep and unbuckled his belt.

Krysta exited the car and stood in front of the small, 50s style diner. The neon OPEN sign blinked and under other circumstances Krysta would have loved this place. She reluctantly walked in behind Michael and took a seat across from him in the booth.

"What can I get ya'll drink?" The waitress asked sweetly. Krysta examined the waitress who appeared to be interested in Ragosa the way she looked at him. Krysta couldn't explain why she felt a pang of jealousy.

"Coffee for me, decaf," Ragosa said absentmindedly.

"Same," Krysta mimicked.

Krysta stared at the menu, completely oblivious to Michael's talking. Finally he pushed the menu down and looked at her with concern in his eyes.

"Are you ok?"

"What?" Krysta shook off the haze, "I'm fine."

The waitress returned with their coffees and placed one in front of each of them.

"We'll each have a short stack," Ragosa said handing the menus back to the waitress.

Krysta looked at Ragosa. He didn't have to order for her. She was perfectly capable of making her own decisions about breakfast food. There was something about him ordering for her though that Krysta liked.

"I'm gonna ask you one more time Krysta. Is everything ok?" Michael said lovingly. He was genuinely concerned about his friend. He had never seen her so melancholy before. Krysta was one of the reasons he liked his new job. Her smile lit up the room and her laugh was infectious. He looked at her face intently and it happened. The bubbly, positive doctor he cared about so much broke down and cried.

Ragosa listened to her cry about Joey and Jordan for what seemed like hours. The bell on the front door jingled announcing they were alone in the tiny diner. Ragosa looked over at the jukebox and signaled that he'd be right back.

At the jukebox Ragosa inserted the required dollar and picked his four songs. The first was a slow melody. He returned to the table and reached for Krysta.

"Stop crying please, just dance with me." He asked pleadingly.

Krysta was perplexed, why did he want to dance with her when she was like this? She reluctantly took his hand and stood up. She had never noticed that they were almost the same height. He pulled her in close, wiping the remaining tears from her cheeks with his thumb. He held her hand and swayed with her in the diner next to their table until the tears stopped falling and a smile made it's way sheepishly to her face.

The song ended and the next song started to play and Krysta couldn't help but laugh that contagious laugh Ragosa had grown so accustomed to. She never realized that Ragosa had two left feet and no rhythm until he tried to dance to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper.

The song ended as breakfast came and they sat down to eat.

"Thanks for that," Krysta responded in almost a whisper.

"You're welcome, I really can't stand to see a woman cry. Specially someone I care about," Ragosa acknowledged.

The rest of breakfast was spent laughing and enjoying each other's company. Krysta had completely forgotten about Joey, and Jordan had been reduced to a slight ache. Ragosa paid the bill and left a generous tip, which if Krysta was going to admit impressed her. She paid her way through medical school as a waitress and a bartender so a good tipper was always a turn on.

The drive back to Krysta's was spent with more laughter and off-key singing to some 80s pop music. Ragosa was much more complex than she would have realized. Finally they arrived at her home and Ragosa turned off the car. He got out and opened her car door walking her up to the door.

"If you ever need someone, I'm here for you. I just wanted you to know that," Ragosa told her whole-heartedly.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," Krysta said. Instinct took over and she kissed him quickly before making quick work of the lock.

Ragosa wasn't expecting a kiss. It wasn't for the lack of hope, he just didn't think that this beautiful person both inside and out would be interested. He tried to brush it off as polite, however every nerve ending in his body told him to grab her and kiss her like he meant it, he may never get another chance. So he did just that.

Ragosa grabbed Krysta by the arm and spun her toward him. He reached up and grabbed her face with his left hand while holding her close with his right. He kissed her with a passion he never felt for his ex-wife and she reciprocated the kiss with a fever that matched his. Passion enveloped around them as she tried to pull him into the house. Ragosa stopped, his heart sank, and he pulled away. Krysta's eyes became wide with fear. She was sure this is what he had wanted, so why was he resisting?

"Krysta, I'd love nothing more than to come in with you," his voice trailing off as he searched for the words to express his want without hurting her feelings.

"The truth is Krysta, I like you, more than I'd like to admit. I like kissing you, I think about kissing you all the time. You are the reason I love coming to work. Your smile could power the whole hospital and if I'm having a bad day hearing your laugh changes all of that. If I can be truthful you deserve someone who makes you feel loved, and often. I want to be that person. The person who makes your heart beat, the person who kisses you because he can't stand the idea of not doing so. I don't want to be your rebound. I'm here for you while you get over Joey, and if you tell me to I'll wait for you, I will. To be completely honest though, I might regret not coming in, but in the end I don't want to have sex with you. I want to be the person who makes love to you," and with that Ragosa kissed her cheek, turned on his heel and walked back to the Jeep, leaving a reeling Krysta in his absence.

Krysta went inside the house and slid down the couch, thinking about what Michael had said. At some point she finally fell asleep.

* * *

 _Songs Mentioned in this Chapter:_

"Skinny Love" by Bon Iver

"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper

* **I do not own the rights to these songs***


	4. Chapter 4: This Broken Family

**Chapter 4: This Broken Family**

 **Author's Note: Sorry it took a few days for the next chapter, the holiday and work had me tied up. If you guys are enjoying where the story is going please let me know. I really would appreciate any constructive criticism you can provide. It might be awhile before I write in hospital, this chapter was particularly challenging.**

 **Thanks! - L**

* * *

 ** _6:48PM_**

At any other time, on any Tuesday, today would have been a typical day at San Antonio Memorial. But today wasn't typical. Part of the team was breaking apart, days earlier having the promise of a family taken away from them. The team's strong leaders were hurting and there was nothing anyone could do. Molly didn't know how she could get this team to focus, all she knew is that the shift started in twelve minutes and she had to bring this team together. She prayed to herself for a slow night as she approached the break room door.

"Hey everyone, shift starts in ten minutes," Nurse Molly bellowed into the quiet break room.

She couldn't help but notice how playful Ragosa and Krysta were being as well as how tightly Kenny was holding onto Gwen. This team had been through so much already in the past 24 hours; it was refreshing to see them come together. Without Drew tonight the team was limited to Topher, Krysta, and Ragosa. Scott was the on call surgeon tonight and TC hadn't left Jordan's side since he returned from his trip with Topher. She worried about them. Jordan was going to need TC now more than ever and she wondered if TC could give her that type of support. TC had his own demons to battle, and she was worried that if TC took on Jordan's demons too it might possess him and then they would never get the old TC back. Molly surveyed the room and took a mental headcount of everyone in attendance.

"Has anyone seen Topher?"

"Upstairs in ICU, I think." Ragosa chimed in.

"Thanks," Molly said, turning on her heel and walking out.

Molly Ramos walked to the elevator, pressed the up button, and waited patiently for the elevator to reach her floor. She looked at her watch counting the seconds until the doors would open.

"Evening Molly," Topher said exiting the elevator.

"Topher, I was just coming to get you. The shift starts in 5 minutes. How's Jordan?" Nurse Molly asked, falling into step with Topher as the moved back to the ER.

"Not great. She is very depressed. I think it's starting to take a toll on TC as well."

"Poor kids, I'll keep praying for them."

* * *

 ** _7:01 PM_**

Ragosa slapped Krysta's thigh as he stood up.

"Come on. We got patients to see Krysta," Ragosa teased moving toward the door.

Ragosa held the door as he and Krysta exited, heading toward the waiting room to check in some patients. Paul waited at the nurses' station; it would be cold and flu for him tonight. Kenny kissed Gwen softly as she left on a run.

"How's the hand?" Topher asked as Molly and him approached.

"Not great. I still can't move my fingers but the infection is gone. My surgery is next week, so we'll see," Paul responded seeming less than chipper tonight.

"You don't have the have the surgery, remember that," Topher repeated for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"If I don't try, my hand doesn't get better. If I don't try, I can kiss my peds surgical fellowship goodbye. So I'll take the risk," Paul scoffed as he grabbed Mr. Ogden's chart and went to exam room one.

"Poor Kid."

"Hey Topher, how's TC and Jordan?" Kenny asked as he waved by to Gwen. "I keep asking Gwen but she won't answer, she's worried about them."

"Not great, they are going to need us now," Topher replied.

* * *

 ** _8:12 PM_**

It was a slow night at San Antonio Memorial. It appeared that Molly's prayers had been answered.

"Paul, how's Mr. Ogden's," Topher was thrown off guard as he saw someone walk into the break room, "hold that thought. I'll be back. Molly keep everyone out of the break room please."

Molly looked through the blinds that covered the windows and saw a disheveled TC pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Will do Topher."

Topher knocked quietly on the door to the room, "Can I come in T?"

TC looked up at Topher. Topher had never seen TC look so disheartened. Even after Thad died, TC returned to service and seemed functionally normal. It wasn't until years later did TC deal with the trauma of losing his brother. At least he seemed to be dealing with his grief this time, but Topher still felt sorry for his dear friend.

Topher walked over to the coffee machine and poured himself a cup. He sat next to TC on the couch and placed his hand on TC's knee. He hoped that maybe the physical contact would help to reassure TC that he wasn't alone and he had a whole team of friends out there who were on their side.

"She's sleeping," TC said in a monotone voice.

"That's good, she could use the rest."

"Yeah…" TC said, his voice trailing off.

Topher looked at his friend, TC was more like a brother to him. He wished he knew something he could do or say to comfort them but he knew that nothing would lessen the pain they were dealing with. Losing their first child was something TC and Jordan would never fully heal from. They needed time and each other. Topher just hoped TC was strong enough to get her through this.

"I proposed." TC muttered.

"And?" Topher asked. TC had talked about proposing while they were helping out Ali, he didn't think he would do it after everything that happened.

"No answer. She'll look at me and then she'll cry now. When I asked she told me I didn't have to do this, that I didn't have to propose. I told her that I love her and I've seen what my world would be like without her and I don't want to feel like that again. But she still hasn't answered me. Toph…" TC looked over at Topher, tears bridging the damn, threating to fall.

Topher wrapped his arms around his friend and let TC do what he needed. TC sat there and sobbed into Topher's shoulder. While sitting there on the couch holding his friend Topher felt it, he felt it the second that his own heart broke for his brother and he cried with him. Whatever TC needed, Topher would be there. He would help put TC and Jordan back together. Topher cursed under his breath for the heartache that his dysfunctional family was going through. Topher didn't need much to remind him that this broken, hurting family was just that, family, and as TC liked to remind him, you don't turn your back on family.

As Topher held TC, letting his hurting comrade weep, he closed his eyes. The memory of the first time he met TC bombarded him and he felt like he was back in Afghanistan. He remembered the dry smell of the air, the golden hue of the sky reflecting off the sand. He remembered watching this maverick medical officer perform procedures so risky it made his stomach turn. He recalled how he wasn't fond of TC and his recklessness. He recollected on the first time this cowboy of a medic became his best friend.

* * *

 ** _Kandahar, Afghanistan 2011_**

TC and Topher sat under the tent in the hot Kandahar air. It was unusually cool for Kandahar in October and the two strangers sat in silence enjoying their non-alcoholic army issue beers.

"This is awful," TC said looking disgusted at the can, "I can't wait till I get home and can have a real beer…and whiskey. Good Irish whiskey."

"Right, this reminds me of the shit I drank during med school."

The two men laughed at the memory of med school. Finally they had found some common ground in crap beer during college.

"Where did you go to med school?" TC inquired. It was more of a reason for him to gloat, but nonetheless he was curious.

"Baylor College of Medicine," Topher said, proud of his alma mater. "Graduated 4th in my class. You?"

"John Hopkins, 1st in my class." TC responded proudly.

"Of course you did."

"So do you have a girl at home?" TC asked. He didn't dislike Dr. Zia, he just didn't know him and he was hoping to change that.

"Yeah, my wife, Janet and my 5 year old daughter Lynn. What about you?"

TC sighed. Talking about his girl was his favorite pastime.

"Yeah, Jordan. She is something special. Saved my life once, no joke. She's a doctor too, smarter than me I swear and she's absolutely stunning. Thick russet colored hair you can't help but want to touch. She always smells like lilac, sometimes when we would sleep, before I was deployed I would lay awake and breathe her in. I never wanted to forget her smell. OH and she has this lopsided grin that makes your heart skip a beat, it's adorable. Oh and her eyes. Jesus Christ, her eyes are so blue I swear you could swim in them. She's perfect," TC revealed, his heart racing at the thought of his girlfriend at home.

He unhooked the button on the side of his fatigues, reached into his pocket and pulled out a petite velvet box. He opened his personal treasure and showed Topher the ring.

"I'm gonna make her mine when I get back home, saying I make it back in one piece."

"Why did you bring the ring with you here though?" Topher inquired. He was genuinely curious as to why a soldier would bring this expensive ring with him half way across the world.

"To keep hope. It reminds me of what I have at home to lose; this ring keeps me on my toes more than any photo would. I can close my eyes and see her, if I breathe deep enough I can smell her but this…this ring though, it belongs on her finger, I need to make it home to make sure it happens."

Topher thought that this was the most genuine thing he has heard come out of this man's mouth. Before he could open his mouth to respond, rebel forces lit up the camp like a Christmas tree.

TC knew that Topher wasn't a soldier, he was a civilian doctor, his instincts took over and he dove. Covering Topher with his own body. The rebel fire seemed to stop as quickly as it started. TC rose slowly, looking around for injured soldiers. Luckily no one was injured.

"Why did you do that? Why did you protect me?" Topher asked. This man just sacrificed his life to save his.

"You have a wife and kids," TC started to say.

"And you have a girlfriend!" Topher interjected.

"Look, we watch out for each other here Topher, I was just looking out for you that's all. Call it a soldiers instinct."

"Thanks." Topher replied solemnly.

* * *

 ** _10:54 PM_**

Topher forgot that he was crying. He held this man who saved his life four years ago. He would have never thought back then that the rebel medic would become his closest friend. It hurt him to see TC this way. TC saved his life more than once, delivered his baby, and helped Topher through more obstacles in his life than he could count. He knew that he had to help his friend.

TC looked up from Topher's shoulder and wiped his eyes.

"I should get back to Jordan," TC said choking back tears

"T if you need anything, I mean anything brother, I'm here fore you. I hope you know that."

TC hugged Topher and kissed his forehead. Topher hated it but it made TC chuckle a bit.

"Yeah, I know," and with that TC refilled his coffee cup and walked to the elevator.

* * *

 ** _12:32 AM_**

"Hey Topher, can you take a look at Mr. Ogden? His x-rays came back clear but he's complaining of shortness of breath and his oxygen levels aren't rising," Paul asked.

"Sure, come on," Topher replied following Paul into exam room one.

Topher held the x-rays up to the light. He looked over at Mr. Ogden perplexed.

"Mr. Ogden, can you tell me what's bothering you?" Topher asked, listening to the man's chest.

"Call me…" Mr. Ogden tried to speak but his mouth stopped working.

Topher leaned into Mr. Ogden, smelling the man's breath. "Paul do you smell that?"

"His breath? No, that's not pleasant and it seems rude to talk about it."

"Seriously, smell his breath Paul."

"Mr. Ogden have you been eating fruit?" Paul asked, the man had been here for an hour and Paul never noticed the fruity smell.

Mr. Ogden couldn't respond with words. He simply shook his head no.

"Mr. Ogden, are you a diabetic?" Topher asked, knowing that the answer was yes. It took milliseconds for Mr. Ogden to confirm Topher's belief.

"Paul, I want you to take Mr. Ogden back for a CT scan of his brain. See if you can find any sign of a blood clot. Before you go though I need you check his blood sugar and do a urinalysis, this time make sure you have the lab check for his ketone levels. I believe Mr. Ogden has two different illnesses here, the first is diabetic ketoacidosis, the other problem can be a result of his diabetes and it looks like he might be having transient ischemic attacks. Come find me when you get the results."

"Mini-strokes and diabetic ketoacidosis? It makes sense; I'll run the tests. Thanks Topher," Paul responded in amazement. It would take him awhile to think as quick on his feet at Topher was.

* * *

 ** _5:59 AM_**

"You were right Topher. Diabetic ketoacidosis and the TIAs were a complication of the diabetes. I've called Scott in, Mr. Odgen had another mini-stroke in the CT machine, Scott is going to do a carotid angioplasty and place a stent. This should help prevent more mini-strokes or a big stroke. I've got him on IV fluids and electrolytes for now, he'll be admitted after his surgery so we can help him with his insulin and finding one that works now."

"Great job, I'll be back," Topher said walking toward the elevator, "And don't kill anyone while I'm gone please."

This was the part of the night that Topher had been regretting all night. He carried Jordan's discharge papers in his arms as he pressed the up button on the elevator. The papers seemed to weigh a hundred pounds. He absolutely didn't want to discharge Jordan, it was easier for him to check on them while she was in here, but it wasn't his decision and the hospital needed the beds.

Topher took a deep breath as he walked into the room where his two best friends laid in each other's arms fast asleep. Topher decided he could wait until they woke up and he turned around to leave but before he even reached the door he heard the faint, dainty voice of the surgical attending he had grown so fond of. Topher turned around to see the scared, broken face of Jordan Alexander looking right in his direction. He laid the discharge papers on the counter and ran to Jordan, embracing her in a warm hug. It wasn't long before she started to cry.

* * *

 ** _7:10 AM_**

Nurse Ramos was thrilled the night was easy. She already knew that Jordan and TC could be gone for a while; she has called other hospitals in the district looking for help. She didn't want to hire anyone new; she just knew they would need some help in the coming months. Perhaps they could just bring someone from 2nd shift to the night shift for the time being. She typed up a quick email to the charge nurse on 2nd shift, asking him to talk to the chief attending.

Molly looked up from her computer to see TC pushing a wheelchair out of the sliding glass doors, chestnut hair blew softly in the breeze and she knew that Topher discharged Jordan. She whispered a prayer for them and clocked out for the morning. Tomorrow was another day and she was going to need some sleep if she was going to make it through the night.


End file.
